She surfaces in Martinique, Michelle’s jaw tightens
Bumping fists and watching out for Vera Baker (Photo: flickr.com)
Leave it to the New York Post to come up with a story like this. Leave it to me to relay the sleaze to you, the reader. Not because I think you’re sleazy, but because I believe you’re as guilty as I am of finding this kind of thing entertaining. And since when does flirting have to be sleazy? Sure, it may not be appropriate to flirt with your payday loan store representative (it won’t get you any free money), but in general, flirting is a very human reaction. Of that, Vera Baker and numerous other women may be quite guilty.
But playing grab-a$# with the president is crossing the line
The Post reports that a new book entitled “Barack and Michelle: Portrait of an American Marriage” paints the picture of a protective – some might say jealous – wife in Michelle Obama. While on the campaign trail, Michelle allegedly gave her husband the silent treatment on numerous occasions due to the way he soaked up female attention. Not because he acted upon it, but the fact that he appeared to be enjoying the attention. The book claims that women “pushed their bodies up against his, slipped phone numbers into his pockets” and made generally lascivious suggestions.
Absolute power seduces absolutely
According to the book, another practice that too many women began with Barack Obama was holding onto his hindquarters. Barack didn’t seem outwardly surprised by this, but it is alleged that in private, he wished they’d leave his butt alone. It isn’t surprising that Michelle Obama would be upset by this. In fact, she is quoted as saying “I want to tell these women, ‘Back off. Get a life.’ It’s just embarrassing, that’s all.”
You saw the tabloids just like I did
Don’t lie. Even if you aren’t picking them up at the check stand, your eyes wander over the tabloids while you’re waiting in line at the grocery store. You saw every rumor, ranging from Barack Obama’s affairs with Oprah to his “in the closet” secret. I’m sure one of them even claimed that the man came from the planet Zog to steal the women of Earth. But Michelle knows that he isn’t a female-eating biped. His ego, on the other hand, may be.
“He’s loving it. He’s a man, isn’t he?” Michelle allegedly said at one point during the campaign.
Vera Baker has nothing to say (except “Please don’t hurt me, Michelle!”)
No, she didn’t actually cry out in fear of the First Lady. But Vera Baker did share a close relationship with Barack Obama during the campaign. Most of the talk indicates that it was a professional relationship, but the slash and burn of Obama-flirt simply won’t go away. The book’s author indicates that Vera Baker’s interaction with Barack was “more than just the random flirting from strangers,” and that Michelle was indeed upset about it. If cold stares were bullets, Barack would have needed the kind of protective glass you find at a payday loan store to protect him from Michelle at the time.
A send-off to Martinique?
What a way to go. Perhaps I will flirt with the president and be sent to a tropical island nation. Trinidad works fine for me… or Tobago… or anywhere else referenced by The Beach Boys in “Kokomo.”
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Of course it hasn’t been proven that Vera Baker was sent off to Martinique by Michelle Obama. Yet it’s fun to speculate. Let’s spread dirty rumors all over the place and see what sticks. Like dogs in ecstasy, let’s roll in the rumors and carry the smell wherever we go. If it earns us a trip to Martinique, Fiji or the end zone at the Meadowlands, we’ll certainly know we’re going places! And if you need cash when you get there, look for a payday loan store. Or just click the green button to go, go, go!
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